Why Most People Stopped Expressing and Started Suppressing?

Many times we meet people who are sad or crying, but when we ask them what is wrong with them. They say, "Nothing". I swear this nothing means many things. We might not express, we might not tell others what happened to us. Several times, we might see write-ups, which carries lot of pain and one day that person is no more. Why such things happen? Just because he/she was coward ? No! They were the ones who were or are still fighting the silent battles. You know where are we mistaken? We have mistaken when we say, "Don't cry, think positive and everything will be okay!" This is where we have failed to understand them. Being positive is a good thing, but toxic positivity is not good. 

What is toxic positivity?

Toxic positivity is something where we try to escape reality thinking that these are negative thoughts or emotions. Postive is something like, where we should be grateful for what we have, as compared to ones who have lost many things. But that doesn't mean, when we are sad we should oh okay, what's so great. I have lost it, it's ok! Atleast I am having food to eat and a bed to sleep and roof to stay. 

There are certain moments in life which occurs unexpectedly like losing jobs, breaking up with a relationship, death of loved ones, breaking up with a friend, fights with someone who is or was closer to us, trust issues and many more things. When such things happens, many will say be positive and think positive, whenever we try to share our problems they'll always be like, I can understand this, problems exists in everyone's life, be grateful for what you have and move forward. That is where a tensed person thinks, "no one can understand me", and it is true that no one can understand them. Because we all have different problems, different experiences and different lifestyles. Instead of saying 'I can understand', you can say, "See I know that I won't be able understand what exactly you are going through but I can listen to you, you feel good. Don't worry, it'll be between you and me and I won't judge you. Promise!". 

What if person don't want to share? What we can do is tell them, "I know something is worrying you, if you don't want to share with me, that's okay! Just write down somewhere or share to your friends or loved ones, or just do something from which you'll feel good. It's ok to feel sad. If you want to cry, you can cry alone and vent out the feelings". What if we ourselves are stressed? Share with closed ones who can understand or listen to us. Cry whenever it is required, you can do it in your own private space. Sit and accept what just happened, tell your brain, " It's ok to feel that way and I am with you ,if the world is not." Stay away from people who provide toxic positivity. Remember positivity is good but not toxic positivity! Self acceptance is better than ignoring it. Stay connected to your brain rather than such toxic positivity. If you don't have any such listener, approach to counsellors.

This is why we stop expressing and start suppressing because in life there are few of them who listen to others instead of judging them.